5 Lessons I am Currently Learning

Each and every day we are presented with things we can either learn from or skip over. Although I think my tendency is to skip over said lessons, the following are 5 lessons I am currently trying not to skip over. I am sure there are countless more lessons I need to be learning, but there will be time for that. For now, I am working on these...

Look Around Like a Child
My son reminds me of this lesson everyday. Before he was born, my wife and I often talked about how our family would take the time to see life through our kids eyes. Now as I have spent 2 years with our son I realize this takes much more mental effort than I first thought. The lesson is this... I need to spend time looking around like a child. Tonight while cleaning our little fish bowl with my wife, our little guy was so full of intrigue and curiosity he could barley contain himself. A great reminder to me that the little things he notices are sometimes worth stopping to check out myself.

Have the Hard Conversation
As I work to build a team that effectively reaches kids for Jesus at Cornerstone Fellowship, I am learning a lesson in having hard conversations. As a leader, I have discovered that one of the best things I can do for my team is to tell them the truth, even when it's not the easiest. Sometimes it's easier to let something slide or find a reason to justify it in my head. Although these hard conversations need to be filled with TONS of grace, I have discovered that not having them actually ends up being harder for everyone. (By the way this lesson also applies to life outside of work...family, friends, etc...)

Respond Slowly and Listen
One of my main roles on the weekends at Cornerstone is to do what I call "putting out fires". This basically means that I jump from place to place helping my team, parents, or kids with whatever they need help with. Sometimes the tasks can be small and sometimes they can be large. The lesson here is that I have discovered that when I walk into a situation I typically come to the quickest and smoothest solution when I take time to stop, gather info, and think. Often times if I do this the solution to a given problem comes much easier. It's worth noting that there needs to be a balance here...you can let the excuse of "gathering information" paralyze you from reaching a solution and solving the problem in an effective way.

Busy Is Not Always Best
So...this comes from over 10 years of experience in Children's Ministry as well as 2 years of experience as a dad. Busy is not always best! I see time and time again families who allow their schedules to be so busy they eliminate all chance of their family connecting during the week. This lesson, more than the rest, is one I am still working through. I am amazed at how, almost without blinking, my family's schedule for the week can fill with seemingly "important" things. My wife and I have made an intentional effort to keep this from happening. It takes almost a weekly conversation of "Do we have enough family time?" on the schedule. It takes regular effort and sometimes saying "no" to good things, but in the end my time with my family and my impact in their lives is all that matters.

Life Speeds Up
This is an add on lesson to the lesson above, but NEWS FLASH...Life Speeds Up...

I know I didn't need to tell you that and trust me, countless people told me that when we first had our son. "Enjoy it, they grow up so fast". Now that I am in it, I can't believe how RIGHT they were. My son is 2 1/2 this month and I don't know where the time went. In addition to that, our next son is due in a short 4 months! Lesson for me...don't look too far ahead, enjoy the moment I have right now...tomorrow will come when it comes...


So there you have it, 5 lessons I am currently working through! Can you relate? What lessons are you learning?

Guys have a strange way of saying goodbye…

I started realizing that guys have a strange way of saying goodbye as we pulled out of the shopping center parking lot. Our family had just finished having a final lunch with one of our very best friends. My wife cried as we drove away…it seemed the right response in a time like this but it was not there for me. I was sad, but something was not sinking in. I had just said the very same goodbyes but inside I was struggling. Surly this was not a goodbye forever (it won’t be)…surely this will be a brief separation (it’s not)… I guess at this point I can just say I am struggling…

The Dunn’s are an amazing family. Jag (Dad and Father) is bravely and boldly leading his family into an adventure that few would be brave enough or committed enough to undertake. He is embarking on a journey that will take up a good part of the next 20 years of his and his family’s life. He and his family left yesterday for Papua New Guinea. The sacrifice they are making to live among an unreached people group is nothing less than amazing.

To say Jag has earned my respect is an understatement. If you had a chance to talk with Jag or Abby they would in no way brag about or prop themselves up for the work they are doing. (So I will)! The Dunn’s are skipping out on what we as American’s feel are basic comforts and necessities… They will build their own home, setup solar panels so they can have electricity, learn a foreign tribal language (without a handy RosettaStone course), raise their kids in the jungle, provide basic medical care to each other, and so much more it would make this post much too long. The adventure the Dunn’s officially started yesterday is a big one, but they are trusting God. They are confident in their call and they are clear on their mission.

I think this is why I struggle. I struggle with the sadness I feel because it is shared with the pride that I have. I am so proud of the Dunn’s. I am so proud of what they have already done and what they are going to do on the mission field. I am so privileged to know a couple like Jag and Abby.

Jag an Abby…Guys have a strange way of saying goodbye, and although I struggled with our goodbye a few days ago, it does not change the fact that I will miss you both. You have made such an impact on my life and the life of my family. I can’t wait to see how God uses you next.

Until next time… I Love You Guys

The priceless value of…TIME

Lately I have come to realize that above anything else I give my son, time is the most important. Sure, he may love getting a new toy, playing on my iPad (not recommended if you ever want to get it back), or watching TV but those things are not going to last…when my son is older he is not going to look back at his childhood and say “man I am glad my Dad let me play with his iPad”! But yet, it seems that the culture that surrounds me as a parent shouts louder and louder that how much stuff I give my son is the measure of success.

Today while spending the morning with my son on errands, (None of them exciting) I was reminded of how much more important my time is for my son than anything else I could give him. Walking through the store was a chance to discover new things, eating lunch together a chance to laugh and be silly, playing at the park an opportunity for a little adventure and risk. It is our time together that he will remember when he is older. He will remember that his dad valued him, that his dad cared for him, and that his dad thought enough of him to WANT to spend time with him.

There are days when I am tired, busy, or just admittedly distracted, and although 24/7 with my son is not realistic or maybe even healthy, I need to constantly watch for the opportunity! I need to intentionally plan time for my son.

Side Note: Here is something I can’t wait to do with my son! I think he may need to be a little bit older first though…




What else do you spend time doing with your kids?

Top 10 digital tools you should be using...

Over the years, I have added and dropped digital tools and programs way more than I want to count. (I don't want to even think about how many companies have my email address) During this time I have come across some services that have been helpful and actually make me healthier or more productive! Below is my top ten list of digital tools you should be using regularly. Many of them are FREE, but they are all worth your time to look into.

Enjoy... (Click on the name of each tool to visit their website)

10. Zite Price: Free - Zite comes in at number 10 for me. It's the only "just for iPad" tool on my list, but it's a great one! Think of Zite as a digital magazine all about your interests. You pick the topics you are interested in and it creates a well organized / displayed magazine style channel with content about that topic. The articles come from all over the web and as you rate articles thumbs up or thumbs down Zite automatically refines what you like and your magazine changes the more you use it!

9. IFTTT Price: Free - Would you like a text message if it's going to rain tomorrow or if it will be hotter than 86 degrees? Wouldn't it be nice to save a copy of every photo you are tagged in on Facebook? IFTTT (IF THIS THAN THAT) online tool gives you the ability to do all this and more! You setup "tasks" from a library of compatible programs such as Facebook, Tumblr, twitter, SMS, and Craigslist. It's a great little program that you setup once and then let it do it's job! If you are interested, here is a longer blog post on how it works!

8. Google Reader Price: Free - Google reader is my go to RSS reader. In simple terms an RSS reader is a tool that brings in content from all the different blogs you read into one place. It highlights the posts that you haven't read yet and it allows you to quickly email or flag as favorite any posts that catch your attention. I think of it as a sort of an INBOX for blogs! If you have a Google account, you already have Google Reader! Just click over to it when you are signed in.

7. Google Voice Price: Mostly Free (Except International Calls) - Google voice is an amazing tool that lets me give people a phone number to call me on, but at the same time they don't have my cell number! When you setup the tool, Google will ask you to choose a FREE number that will become your Google Voice number. This new number when dialed rings to any phone you choose. I put the number on my email signature so that acquaintances and people I don't know very well can call me without actually having my cell number. Watch this VIDEO to get a better picture of what Google Voice can do for you!

6. Tumblr Price: Free - Tumblr is a blogging tool that specializes in short, straight forward posts. Although you can use it as a regular blog host for articles, I have found most success using it as a collection tool for pictures. Check out how we use it at Cornerstone: Zone Pictures When you setup your Tumblr blog, you will get a unique email address. Simply send any picture (works especially well with iPhone or Android) to the unique email address and your picture will post to the site. Tumblr also has lots of great options for automatically posting to Facebook and Twitter making it SUPER easy to share your posts.

5. Nike+GPS Price: $1.99 on iTunes - This little running app turns your iPhone into an amazing running partner. Setup this tool to play your favorite music during your run and all along the way it will give you updates on pace, distance and time. If you want to add a second level of assistance you can connect your Nike+ GPS to Facebook or Twitter and share your runs with the world. You can even allow people to cheer for you (via the LIKE button on facebook) while you run! If you need a little competition, Nike+GPS makes it easy to compete against your friends for best distance, time or pace!

4. Dropbox Price: Free (For 2GB) - Dropbox is basically a USB key you get for free and don't have to carry around. When you install Dropbox on your computer, a folder is created. When you place a file in that folder, it is automatically pulled up to your dropbox account on the internet. If you share that folder or access that dropbox from a different computer that file is automatically waiting for you! This video explains the tool so much better than I can. Check it out: DROPBOX VIDEO *Note: Use this link to sign up and I get a little gift! http://db.tt/gyaSxiZ

3. Mvelopes Price: $40 (lower price options available for signing up longer) - As the most expensive tool on the list, I thought twice before putting Mvelopes on my list. But when I thought about the advantage Mvelopes gives me with my finances I decided there was no way I could leave it out. Mvelopes has helped my wife and I get out of debt and stay out of debt. Mvelopes helps us track every single dollar we earn and know exactly what it's going to be used for. We did Dave Ramsey's FPU a few months back and I would say that class and this program are the two reasons we continue to stay out of debt and increase our savings every month. You can get a free trial membership here: MVELOPES FREE TRIAL

2. myfitnesspal Price: FREE - Weight loss is a touchy subject. 3 Months ago I weighed too much, and I was not healthy. As of this post, I have lost 30lbs and I feel great! The only tool I used was this little iPhone App (it also has a web based tool you can use). Myfitnesspal doesn't tell you what you can or can't eat, it simply helps you track how MUCH you eat. At the beginning of each day, I have a set number of calories to eat based on my height, weight, and weight loss goals. During the day I enter what I eat into myfitnesspal and it keeps track for me. It's super easy to scan bar codes or look up different meals. Partnering this tool with NIKE+GPS has been a great combo for me. You should give it a shot.

1. Evernote Price: Free - Evernote is my digital brain. I dump anything I need to look up later into this nice little program and it keeps it for me until I need it. Getting stuff into evernote is a snap. I can email it to evernote, add it to evernote via the iphone/andriod app, I can install a handy web clipper that into my browser that will add entire web pages, or I can upload files directly into evernote with the desktop app. All these files get indexed by evernote and they are avalible whereever I have evernote installed. (iPhone/iPad/Android, other computers, internet). Check out a video explanation of EVERNOTE.


These are the top ten digital tools (for now) that I use in my daily life that would be worth your time checking out. One of the things I love most is helping people discover new digital tools and how to use them, so if you need help or have questions about any of these please let me know. I would love to spend time helping you figure out how to use them.

Who is your competition?

Competition...Competition is a funny thing. It is embraced by some and rejected by some. It can bring people together or drive a wedge between. It can spur on better performance or lead to self doubt when not measuring up. Funny thing though, if you lead a ministry, sell a product, offer a service, or have any interaction with people to reach a specific goal you are competing whether you like it or not. Regardless if you are a pastor, teacher, waitress, or salesman you have competition at your front door and you would be wise to know how you measure up.

In the past month I have had interaction with 3 organizations that directly compete with me in my job of ministry to families and kids. You may think this "competition" comes from other churches in the area or from other organizations that seek to reach people with the saving knowledge of Jesus Christ. However the three organizations I am talking about have nothing to do with the church, in fact they have nothing to do with the message of salvation. Thanks to a great book I am leading my team through, I was able to notice first hand who my competition is this past month when I interacted with Apple Computer, Disney, and Livermore Auto and Tire. Surprised? So was I at first until I started reading "Inside the Magic Kingdom : Seven Keys to Disney's Success" The lesson in Chapter 3 is this: "The competition is anyone the customer compares you with."

Here's what I found.

3 Examples

• A few nights ago I went by the Apple store because I had a problem with a computer and I needed Apple to look at. Do you know I almost enjoyed my experience? The guy behind the Genius Bar set the standard high from the beginning. I was the customer and he made sure I was satisfied with my experience. He took his time with me making sure I knew exactly what he was doing. Not once did I feel as though what my computer was doing was my fault (it wasn't my fault but that is for another post). He quickly and efficiently worked with my computer and I left the store with an experience that raised the bar for me. The next time I interact with a company I need help from no matter if its is apple or another company I will compare it with interactions like this one. (It's not the first good experience)

• My wife and I have been into a local auto shop here in our home town twice in the last week getting her car looked at for 2-3 little issues. Without boring you on the details the guys in this shop are obviously about customer service. Normally a trip to the mechanic is right up there with going to the dentist for me. However since finding this shop 2-3 years ago its been a different story entirely. From top to bottom these guys raise the bar not just for other mechanics, but for anyone that has the tough job of explaining complex concepts to me that I have to pay to have repaired.

• If you know me at all you should have seen this third example coming, but when it comes to raising the bar with customers and people in general who better to study than Disney? The book my staff and I are reading dives into this company specifically and seeks to identify what they do to succeed in this important area. Without going into ALL the details, what other company can you think of that raises the bar so high? The ridiculously high rate of return guests, the living breathing person who answers the phone when you call that sounds as if they are your best friend, the cast member who will notice you dropped your ice cream in the park and go out of their way to replace it, or the fact that such a large number of guests leave the park each day and they are HAPPY (even with long lines, heat, and a crying kid). Talk about raising the bar!

These companies set the bar at an amazingly high level! Do you know people who frequent these organizations or places like them? Think back to the last bar raising customer service experience you had. If you are in the world of working to attract people to your product, convince people to use your service, or impact them with the truth of the gospel you had better keep these and other competitors like them in mind. The people you interact with are comparing you to them.

Regardless of your occupation, who are people comparing you or your organization with and do you raise or lower the bar for them?

*Ministry Focus: This world is full of amazing products that are being sold and top notch entertainment options waiting for people to enjoy. As a pastor to kids and families I am called to reach people with a message that I feel far outweighs anything else. If you are in ministry as well then this post is that much more important for you. We have a product that has eternal significance. Shouldn't we make sure we are using the creativity, drive, passion, and determination that God gave us to make sure that every time someone interacts with us we are raising the bar for them? Shouldn't the church be the model of what it means to have GREAT customer service? Sadly there are way too many stories of people turning away from the church or never hearing the truth of Jesus in the first place because the Church did nothing to raise the bar. In fact more often than not, the church is responsible for lowering the bar. What are you doing to communicate that Jesus Christ is worth it?

Running...It's for my son!

Running and me have had a on again off again relationship. I don't especially hate running, in fact there are times when I am out running (especially in the early morning) when it can be extremely enjoyable! But the consistency that running requires to have any visible benefit has eluded me for some time.

Up to this point it has been the typical run a few times, then fall of the wagon routine. Frustrated by the lack of consistency I have kept plugging away. Every few week/months I pull my running stuff out and hit the pavement hoping this will be the run that makes it stick. Today was another one of those days. Got in a descent 1.5 mile run/walk with the help of a great app on my iPhone (Nike+). Not sure what feels so different about today, but something feels different. Maybe it's that fact that since mid July I have lost 30+ lbs (that is more than my son weighs), or maybe it's the fact that I have this blog to write about it, or maybe its because the weather was so nice today. I don't know for sure, but this is what I do know, I have been working hard to take control of my body and this working out thing is the next thing on my list.

My motivation for weight loss and exercise is a simple one, my son. It's because of my son that I am working so hard. I want to be around for a long time with him, I want to be able to run around the playground with him and not be out of breath with the distinct feeling that I might just die right there on the curly slide and I want to set a good example for him of what it means to take care of the body the God gives us.

Believe me, I am not a workout or health food fanatic. I just came to realize that in order to accomplish my goals and be the Dad I need to be for Jackson it means hard work, it means saying "no" to some foods and snacks I LOVE to eat and it's going to mean continuing to get back out there and RUN.

If you want to help me keep it up, you can encourage me on FACEBOOK (I post all my runs) or if you have an iPhone jump on Nike+ and lets track our runs/walks together!

Until next time...

Why this blog?

I have actually had many blogs over the years most however have been or still are used as a kind of digital scrapbook for photos...my son has a photo blog that has been around since before he was born. It's been a pretty cool way to store and share photos over his entire two years! You can check that blog out here: Bickermunchkin

So besides the occasional photo blog post, I have never really had a place to write down my thoughts as they pertain to my life. That is my goal with this blog. I make no promises as to the regularity of posts or the depth at which the writing will be. It's simply a place to write down some thoughts and share them with whoever needs help falling asleep at night!

But seriously, I have been challenged by a mentor in my life to read and write more and I this blog will be a good location to post my thoughts as I make my way through various books. Again, no promise as to the depth or revelation you will find in the thoughts I share but I assume that if I find something worth writing about it will come from someone smarter than me and just maybe you can benefit from it as well. If something I write catches your attention, lets talk about it!

So that's it, just a place to get my thoughts out there. Some new, some old and some worth sharing with anyone willing to read them!

Let the discussion begin!